Soar In Your Zone

Sheryl’s Success Strategies – By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Soar In Your Zone

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Good Morning Sleepy Head! No? You’ve been up before dawn, had your coffee and already got three hours into your day? Good for you! For the rest of us…we too need to find our “zone”.

 

All of us have zones of energy, creativity, sleepiness. Does it make sense to work creatively in your sleepiness zone? Of course not…yet we will schedule time for study, appointments, and take on important projects when we are disconnected from our own energy. So take a week and make a note in your calendar of the times you feel E for energized, S for sleepy and C for creativity. Then schedule your study and appointments around your own zone.

 

When you’re working in your zone, you never look at a clock for the time…it just flies by. Personally, my creativity often comes while driving. To get the most out of that time, I bought a tiny MP3 recorder that allows me to store 14 folders with over 8 hours of creative thoughts. It’s so much better than the old tape recorder that you had to fast forward and rewind to find what you were looking for. And this MP3 player allows me to download that file onto my computer and then convert that to text. Wow!

 

I’ve also found that when I’m in the mood to write…that’s what I do. I don’t stop to take phone calls or check my email. I write while it flows and when the tap is dry…I move on to other things.

 

I’m NOT a morning person so why would I schedule important business meetings around breakfast? I wouldn’t. There are always exceptions. If the client IS a morning person and requires that time of meeting to be in his or her zone, then I comply. But I know my energy will be off so I make sure I mentally prepare before that meeting and I follow up with an energized phone call later when I’m in MY zone. If you are a student, you may not have a choice other than go to a morning class if that is the only time it is offered. So, make the best of it.

 

I have a friend who works best in the middle of the night. She has small children and takes care of them in the day time. She cooks dinner and “switch hits” with hubby allowing him to play and bathe the kids and tuck them in. This allows her to get into her zone and work. After the kids are down for the night and she tucks her hubby in, she gets up and works until 3 in the morning. It works for HER. She thrives on that schedule. It wouldn’t probably be out of anyone else’s zone. But who cares? Where in the rulebook of life does it say you have to work 8-5? It doesn’t.

 

So find your zone and soar within it!

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author and rated in the top 8% in the profession. She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business. She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance. Her articles are published everywhere. For more information visit Sheryl’s website, http://www.sheryl.com.

I Don’t Want That Job

Sheryl’s Success Strategies – By Sheryl Nicholsonj, CSP

I Don’t Want That Job

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Have you ever said that? You’ve been put into the position to write or help write policies that will allow your fraternity, sorority, or organization to run smoothly and efficiently. Will the rest of your members “abide by the rules?” Probably not…..nobody likes to be TOLD what do to, no matter what their age. So here are some tips to get your team to “buy in”.

 

 

 

 

1. Of course the best case scenario is to hold a

brainstorming (noodlejam) meeting with representatives

from all departments present to create a draft of your

policy book.

 

 

2. If you’re going to write the policies without input, allow

your team to offer suggestions to modify and improve

the policies before they’re “carved in stone.”

 

 

3. Whenever our office creates a new policy for our book we

also list the benefits of doing something a particular

way. That way you don’t have team members

wondering “where did they come up with THAT

idea/rule?”

 

4. Lead by example. If others see that you aren’t putting

up a fuss about the new policies then they will

understand that they will be able to work through them.

 

5. Find internal cheerleaders. Who are the members of

your team that get excited about change, growth, and

expansion? Let them know that you need them “in

your corner” to rally the troops. Chances are they will

be excited about being recognized that they are

flexible and willing to co-lead.

 

 

6. Remember the different ways that people deal with

a change. Some will ignore or deny it, others will

test it, one or two will cheer it, and a few will

accept it. Understanding that, you will know who

may need that extra one-on-one time to answer

the questions they are struggling with.

 

 

 

Feeling an ambush coming on? What happens when the policy has already been set, everyone seemed to accept it but now you have a hall full of “rattlesnakes”? Rattlesnake is the name I call passive-aggressive communicators. When something happens that they just don’t like, instead of speaking up at that moment, they slither away down the hall, under a bush somewhere. Months go by, maybe something else happens, or something is said, and again they quietly slither into another office. Then one fine sunny day, months later, you ask them a harmless question and suddenly the fangs come out. You are struck with a verbal bite you weren’t prepared for.

 

These people are also your fraternity, sorority, or organization policy saboteurs. You thought they were fine with the policy book because nothing was said otherwise and yet, quietly your organizational process is falling apart. A piece of procedure missing here, a few minor infractions there, and before you know it…you’d been ambushed!

 

So now what? Hold a Zitch List ™ Party! I recommend that these be held at least every quarter, but with all the change going on in organizations today, it may be better for YOUR group to do one every 6 weeks! How does it work?

 

Get a piece of flip chart size paper. On the paper draw a large T. On the top left half of the T put a “-” sign and on the top right of the T put a “+” sign.

 

Now have a party! Ask for input. All the things that people are complaining about gets written on the left side on the paper. When you think they’re finished “zitching” ask them “Is there anything else you would like to put on your list?” Ask this question THREE times so that they can really dump their complaints out of their head and onto the paper.

 

When they’re finished, ask which of those items do they have control over. That list will be moved over to the right side, under the + sign. Don’t be surprised if only one or two things get moved over. My years of doing this, no matter what size the organization, shows that most of us complain about things we have absolutely no control over. For example, the weather, the poor attitudes of some people, someone else’s duties, or policies.

 

If there is something that can be moved over, ask the next question: “What are you going to do about it?” This empowers the person to focus on solutions that bring positive results.

 

If the majority of things can’t be moved over then you simply remind them of this phrase:

 

If it’s Out of Your Control…LET IT GO!

 

Then ask them to participate as a representative to modify and update the next policy book.

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author and rated in the top 8% in the profession. She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business. She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance. Her articles are published everywhere. For more information visit Sheryl’s website, http://www.sheryl.com.

 

 

Selflessness In A Selfish World: Confronting Life-Changing Decisions

Sheryl’s Success Strategies – By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Selflessness In A Selfish World:  Confronting Life-Changing Decisions

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

I married a bachelor…A big, kind, gentle and quiet man that I’m sure didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he proposed to this mother of 4.  The proposal came  in the form of a multiple choice questionnaire (with ring attached), delivered by mail from several states away.  He was my total opposite like most of us….opposites DO attract. I’m sure he was as shocked as I was when I said “yes.”

After 2 years of marriage I recognized his daily routine of greeting me at the end of his workday with “How was your day Dear?”  One day my reply was “Honey, you better sit down for this one.”

My oldest daughter Mia had transferred to Texas.  While there, she hired 4 young women and brought them back to Tampa for 10 days of training.  They were all staying at a hotel when she phoned me excitedly, “MOM, this is just like the Oprah Winfrey show.” “What is it Mia,” I replied.  “Mom, you know those girls I hired, well one of them was up all night with a stomach ache and we called an ambulance and they took her to the hospital, and Mom, she just gave birth to a baby and didn’t even know she was pregnant!”  “Yeah right, Mia”  “No mom, I interviewed her, she didn’t look pregnant, she surely wouldn’t have switched jobs and how could she have known she would give birth in these ten days.  This is incredible I’m going to the hospital.” click, she hung up!

Around 4 o’clock she called again “Mom, this is just like Oprah’s show,  since she didn’t know she was pregnant, no one back home knows, so she’s getting on a plane tomorrow and going home like nothing happened.”  “What’s she gonna do with that baby?” I asked.  “Oh just leave it… someone will take it.” “Mia, you can’t do that with a child.  That baby could be bounced from home to foster home for years.  I’d take that child before I let that happen!” I replied.  Mia exclaimed, “Mom you’ll do WHAT?”  “UH, uh, uh, well you talk with the mother and see if she’d like to have a name and phone number to leave the child with instead of losing her to a system for 18 years, and I guess I’d better talk to Gary when he gets home.”  At 6 pm…” Honey, you better sit down for this one”

I began to tell the story and in disbelief,  came his reply “Yeah, right, she didn’t know she was pregnant, sure,  it ‘s gonna get left behind, ah huh, we’re gonna adopt.” I stood firm, “Honey, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  If Mia hadn’t gotten transferred to that city, hired that particular girl, kept her here for10 days of training. Honey,  here’s a child on a golden platter, if you ever want a child of your own this is the only way it’s gonna happen since I can’t give birth anymore.”  Overwhelmed he answered, “Well you can’t make life changing decisions like that in minutes.”  Focused, I said “Well sleep on it and leave me a note in the morning.”

Now, do you think I found a note from this stable, quiet, likes everyday to be the same, guy?  Nope, nowhere!  9 am the phone rang, “Hi Sheryl this is Sue, I’m a social worker  from the hospital. I just talked with the mother and she said you can have the baby.  Want to come and get it?”  Stunned I mumbled um, um, um, at that exact same time, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.  It’s my husband Gary.  Now for two years he normally worked an hour from home but here he was at 9 am climbing up the stairs, into the bedroom.  He sits down on the bed and quietly whispers, “Who ya talking to?”  I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote “How would you like to pick up your baby daughter?”  He took the pen, scribbled on the paper and returned it to me.

“What if she gets sick? Do we need an attorney? What’s it gonna cost? What if she changes her mind?” I read it and tore the paper in half returning the original question “How would you like to pick up your baby daughter?’  I told Sue “I’d like to help but adoption is an expensive process and I don’t have any money because I just paid off my credit cards.  I just picked my book up from the printer and still owe him money.”  “Do you have an attorney”, Sue asked.  “No”. She then said  “Let me call one for you , Sheryl”.  Five minutes later came the return call.  “I found an attorney (3 miles from my house, can you believe it?) and he said since there was no one involved until  now, it will cost about $2000.  Have you got 2 grand?” Sue asked. I thought, “Hum, $2000, $2000, wait a minute, I just paid off my visa card, I could put her on a cash advance.”

I rushed into Wal-Mart to the pharmacist and yelled “I’m having a baby, what do they drink?”  I had totally lost my mind for a few minutes!   That night I went to a pre-planned book signing party.   I glanced over at my non-party animal husband, Gary.  There he stood with his arms crossed looking totally bored. “Hey, let’s go see her” I suggested.  “Nah, visiting hours are over in 10 minutes and it’ll take 20 to get there.  “Oh come on” I replied as I grabbed his arm and tugged him outside to the car.  When we got the hospital you could hear a whispering hum as we walked down the hall.  We were greeted by nurses that explained, “You see not even the paramedics knew this girl was pregnant, if they had they would have taken her to a birthing hospital down the street.  There are no babies here”,  they giggled.

As we walked down this long hall, I saw my big, quiet Gary pull down on the handle of the door.  Inside this great big room was nothing…nothing except one little crib.  And as we walked closer we saw one tiny soul.  I watched as my husband leaned down  to touch her and just as he did, she reached out and wrapped her tiny fingers around his.  I watched and heard Gary whisper in his deep voice “Hi Honey, this is your Daddy”  This beautiful baby’s name is Sara Lee.

We could have never MADE this happen – it was destined to be and I enjoy sharing this from the stage as my signature story thanks to the nudge from Cavett Robert!
About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author and rated in the top 8% in the profession.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business. She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance. Her articles are published everywhere. For more information visit Sheryl’s website, www.sheryl.com .

 

 

Conquering The Fear Of Public Speaking: The Whole World Is A Stage

Sheryl’s Success Strategies – By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Conquering The Fear Of Public Speaking:  The Whole World Is A Stage

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

As an International Professional Speaker, I’m often approached about the mystery, excitement, and conquering…of the stage.  In every book of fears, public speaking tends to be right up there in the top three.  And yet I know “all the world’s a stage.” 

There is a misconception that stage presence has to do with drama, control, and even fibbing to make a story more believable.  I say that isn’t true. 

Whether capturing an audience of one or many, the tools needed for this task are amazingly the same. 

• Yes you have to be prepared before you present.  If you were “presenting”  ANY proposal (even one for marriage) you better be organized in your thinking and to the point!  If you are rambling, in-direct, and using allot of slang (“you know” “like” “um”) you can count on not getting a positive response! 

• Passionate.  In any presentation, people are moved by how much you believe in what you are saying.  I’ve actually seen instances where the wrong decision was made, JUST because the person was so passionate in swaying the listener. 

•  The tone of voice is just as important as the words.  Did you know that research has shown the lower, stronger voice gets more positive responses than a softer one?  And this is something that can be altered with a simple breathing technique! 

•  Authenticity.  People are smarter and savvier today.  They can see right through someone who is pushing an idea for their own sake.  Someone who doesn’t care about the listener and feels that their own words are music to their own ears. 

•  Physical must match the verbal.  There’s nothing more confusing than when someone is making two points while holding up three fingers.  Or someone who is angry about an issue, yet smiling.  Very little of our communication is verbal, so paying attention to your appearance (can people see those eyebrows?) and your body gesturing is imperative.  And remember, ALL the world is a stage…that means avoid common gestures, that to you may seem natural, but would definitely be offensive to other cultures! 

 
About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author and rated in the top 8% in the profession.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business. She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance. Her articles are published everywhere. For more information visit Sheryl’s website, www.sheryl.com .  

Define It, Post It, Live It

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Are you successful? Will you be successful in the future? Do you have a time line and set goals to that end? Well, let’s paint a different picture.

Let’s say you were given a few days to live and you were lucky enough to be on your deathbed, surrounded by the people you love. Each of you could say the things you needed to say before you left this world. Would you be able to close your eyes and say, “I was successful in my life”? Well here’s a question for you. Why in the world would you want to wait until the last hours of your life to realize you’re a success?

I want you tonight when you close your eyes to say, “I’m a success”. And tomorrow, live it. To make that a reality certain steps need to be taken.

Step One – Define It

To be able to live it you’ve got to define it. How would you define success? That definition will be modified throughout your life but it needs to start somewhere. If you don’t take the time to define it for yourself then you’ll buy into other people’s definitions and they will begin to maneuver and manipulate you to live their definitions.

Examples?

“You’ll never be a success around here unless you put in a 60 hour work week”

“If you’re serious about the job then you’re expected to entertain clients in places you’d rather not be”

“It’s simple. Don’t let people around here know you have kids if you want to advance. It’s your job or your family. You can’t have both”

“You’ll have your retirement to take all the vacations you won’t be taking here. 

These are real statements that have been said to real employees. Without having your own clear definition of success, guilt, “should” language and manipulation become powerful tools in the hands of others. When you KNOW what your definition of success is, it makes it easier for you to make better choices that will help in getting a life…balanced!

 Remember I said your definition would be modified in life? If you asked my teenage son to define success he’d tell you “Success in driving a Porsche and living on the beach.” A man friend once told me, “No, success is owning the Porsche, the house on the beach and have two years income in the bank so at anytime you can say “take this job and shove it”. My Mother defines success as “If your children call you on Mother’s day and remember to send you a Birthday card, then you’re successful.”

What’s YOUR definition? Define it, Post it and Live it! 

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business.  She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies.

Savvy Ways to Say NO!

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Here are some examples of how to “say no,” and effectively communicate that message to solicitors, and associations that want you to volunteer your time over and over again.

Solicitors. Even if you are on the “do not call” list, sometimes a solicitor can catch you on the phone at night, on weekends, and at dinner.  We hear their scripted dialogue and we really don’t have the time to listen to it.  I usually give them the courtesy and allow them to finish their script (after all it is THEIR job and I don’t want to be rude…everybody has to make a living.)  So here are several responses that have worked for me.

 

“Thank you for calling.  No, I’ve already given to my designated charity for this year.” Or 

“NO. I know you must value your time as I do mine, so please take me off of your list so that you won’t be wasting your time again in the future.  Thank you.”  Or 

“No thank you and I hope you have good luck with your other calls tonight.  Goodbye.” Or

 

“No thank you, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU” (Pausing between the no’s, escalating your tone, and strengthening of your voice). Remember tone of voice is just as important as the words you will use.

 

Interruptors.  Alternate offerings have been used in several of our examples so far.  By giving an alternate choice, you are helping the other person feel in control by allowing them to choose Option A or Option B.  When doing this make sure you are the one coming up with the options because after all, you too are accepting which choice they make.  Alternative choice is a good tool to use with people who interrupt your work day.  Time management experts will tell you that you actually control very little of your day because of these interruptions.  You take pride in getting as much done on your task list as possible yet, someone, maybe even your boss, drops by and requests that you stop everything and put priority on their project.

First of all you need to know that when someone asks “gotta minute?”  You can tell them …”no now I’ve got 22”.  Not really – you don’t have to be a smart alec – and yet in reality, the research shows that if you were in concentrated thought and working on something, when you are interrupted it will take you 22 minutes to re-focus at the level you were at BEFORE the interruption.  Wow – that’s a lot of time wasted.  So my suggestion is to answer “gotta minute” this way…

“No, I’m working on something right now.  I can talk with you at lunch (Option A) instead or after work (Option B)”  Or 

“No, I’ve got 6 minutes.  Can you tell me what you need in that time or do we need to reschedule?”  One thing I have noticed is when you are specific about what time you DO have…people take notice.  When I say I’ve got 6 minutes…they are thinking…wow she’s serious with her time.  If they know it can’t be handled in 6 minutes they will likely respond with “oh, no,. never mind, it wasn’t important.  Sorry to disturb you.”  Or 

“Oh, it will take more than 6 minutes so yes let’s meet for lunch instead.”

“No I can’t do that and get the other work you’ve delegated to me completed.  So could you use Nancy in Bookkeeping or Joe in Customer Service to help you?” Or  

“Yes I can do that but this other work won’t get done, which project do you want completed today, this one or that one?”

 

The other types of interrupters are the ones that just show up…unannounced, without     permission.     As a bonus, here’s what you do with them.

 

First recognize the fact that they often walk into your room talking…even if you’re on the phone or doing something.  They’re talking because they think you haven’t noticed them in the room.  So notice them.  As soon as they come into the room, give them a hand signal (a nice one) to let them know you know they have arrived.  Then once off the phone, give them a minute and look at your watch.  This is non-verbal communication that lets them know you are watching your time.  If that doesn’t work, and they are still talking, after a minute stand up like you’re going somewhere.  And the final step, go somewhere!

Someone in one of my classes told me that she actually has a team member who will follow her into the bathroom and keep talking.  If that is the case, then exit the building.  Grab your car keys like you’re going to the store.  Walk around the office outside and then return.

Then assertively ask for a meeting and set some guidelines about how and when to interrupt.

One company that uses cubicles as work space, has a flag system.  They have little flags that they keep on their desks.  If the flag is at “half mast” that means “I’m busy, don’t interrupt.”  Another client company uses large felt dots on their cubicles.  Red means “stop, I’m busy, do not disturb”.  Yellow means “I’m busy, if it’s important you can interrupt for a minute.”  Green means “I’m working but can be disturbed.”  See how important guidelines are in assertive communication with other team members?  OK, let’s take on another example where you may need to say no.

Clubs and Organizations.  You’ve been actively involved in several organizations and now to get a life balanced, you’ve decided that you are going to step down from some of those positions.  Shocked, your associates come to you and beg and plead for you to just hang on for a few more months.  Your possible responses:

 

“I appreciate your thoughts and no. In the best interest of our organization, we need to build leaders from our new members.  I’ve kept an eye on Stephen all year and I believe he would do well on our board.  Thank you for supporting my decision.”  Remember…no guilt in your voice!  Or 

“No thank you.  I’ve enjoyed serving our members, now it’s time to pursue other personal and professional interests.”  Or 

“No.  I knew this would be difficult for all of us so I have asked Deborah if she would be open to taking my position and she has said yes.”  

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business.  She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies.

Attitude = MORE than Survival!

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

How many of you out there feel like survivors? Have you experienced and survived a divorce, job change or life-threatening illness?  I, too, am a survivor! And I used to be so proud of that word that I almost wore it as a “badge of courage” pinned on my chest. I had lived in a tent for 18 months with four children and physically built my own home—and I survived! I built that home for $28,000; and 2 years later it appraised at $98,000.  And I lost it in an ugly divorce, walking away with nothing but my greatest assets, my four children; and I survived!

I ended up having to work three jobs.  Got up in the morning and repaired bathtubs on construction sites (I’m a plumber’s daughter; sold real estate in the afternoon; got home to greet the kids from school, start dinner, and then I was off doing free talks at Rotary and Kiwanis meetings trying to build my speaking and training business.  I was getting headaches and feeling like I was pushing myself to get through the day.  Can you relate?

And like most of us, I took care of myself last. I self medicated by popping aspirins. When I was up to 14 aspirins a day, my body said, “Uh uh,” and I ended up in the hospital with a doctor telling me that I probably wouldn’t survive the gangrene in my intestines. I went through major surgery and I survived! Going through a life-death situation, I got thinking about it…. survivor, survivor… as my children were growing up and asking me about life, was I just going to be able to say I had survived it? All of a sudden that magical word meant nothing and I decided I wanted to get more out of life than just survival. And I wanted to share those skills with others. So let’s get started on our path out of a life of survival.

Do you hope to one day leave this world as a success? Why wait until we’re on our deathbed to ask ourselves that question? Today, I want you to know that success is within your grasp, and you can go home and know you are successful. But to do that you must first take the time to define success.

Everyone has his or her own customized definition. For example, if you asked my son Erik, when he was a teenager, he would say “you’re successful when you own a Porsche and live in a house on the beach.”  Some say, “If the Porsche and the house are paid for and you have two years salary in the bank, you’re successful.”  And my mother says “If your kids remember to call you on Mother’s Day, you’re successful.”

Several years ago success was define by “things”.  “He who dies with the most toys wins” was a popular bumper sticker. Then came the recession and recently the dot com crash and many have suffered making the mistake of tying success into a dollar amount or even fame.  Hollywood and Celebrity Sports give thousands of examples of misplaced definitions of success that lead to drugs and suicide. In my business I’ve met many people who drive expensive cars and live in gorgeous homes, and I wouldn’t call them successful at all. They throw money instead of time at their kids and are often out of balance.

I recently heard this definition and liked it so well I often use it. You might want to copy it and put it up somewhere: 

Success is loving what you do so much, you’d do it for free, but doing it so well, you get paid handsomely for it.

That definition works for Joe the gardener who whistles while he works.  It works for me when I’m offered other jobs that I can turn down quickly because I wouldn’t love the job.

The first step is to realize positive mental attitude as imperative to your  success.  Research has shown that there are actually three ingredients in personal and professional success.  Education, Interpersonal Skills and Attitude.  Which do you think is the most important ingredient?  You can know the answer to that question by thinking about someone you admire and consider successful.  Now think of five qualities, not possessions, they have.

Did you list honest or integrity?  How about pro-active and caring?  Now think back over your list.  Won’t the qualities you listed fall into the realm of attitude more than in the area of education or skill?  Attitude is the No. 1 ingredient to their success.  To bring that fact closer to home, can you name someone who is better educated than you are but making less money?  How about someone who is less educated than you are but making more money?  So knowledge is not the key to success, attitude is most important, coupled with strong interpersonal skills and a continuing education.

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business.  She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies.

Get A Grip

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

I was driving back home after the birth of my grandson,  Jorden.  The birth, the miracle, the blessing and yet he made me aware of a poignant deficit in our lives.  From the minute he was born, that baby wanted to get a grip.  It didn’t matter if it was Mama’s breast or Daddy’s finger; he had to get a grip.  It was a natural instinct to make a human connection.

I thought about how isolated working people have become today.  We don’t have time for ourselves let alone others. I remember 31 years ago when my first child was born and how we would go on picnics with our neighbors.  If I didn’t have pictures of our camping trips I believe I would have sworn we never had time to just take off for days for the woods.  No phone? No computer?  No kidding!

So why is a People Connection so important to maintaining a balanced professional life?

1.  Advancement

With rightsizing and mergers, no job is guaranteed. Gold watches as retirement gifts come from a past era.  You need to be aware of what other opportunities are available to you. HR directors still prefer to hire someone that has been personally recommended over a resume in response to a newspaper advertisement.

According to Training Magazine, put out by the American Society for Training and Development, the college student today will have five different dedicated careers before he/she retires.  Always knowing “what else is out there” is a good skill honed by being connected with others.

In Harvey MacKay’s book, Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty, he talks about the impact of networking on the advancement of a career.  With his techniques, his own children were able to graduate from college with a database of over 3,000 names.  Think that will come in handy with their job search?  His book also pointed out the difference in the way men and women network. I certainly have changed some of the things I do based on his techniques.  So pick up that book this week and enjoy while learning!

2.  Risk-taking Confidence

Your confidence is higher when you walk the risk-taking tightrope with a “people net” below you.  Not all of us are lucky enough to be married to the same type of personality pattern we bear.  Opposites attract, fun to date, but challenging when married. Some marriage counselors agree that it’s impossible to expect to get ALL your needs met by one person (your spouse). Develop that support net legitimately, outside your marriage through associations, church groups, and civic clubs.

 

3.  Knowledge and Diversity

There are definite advantages to getting a grip with people who are NOT like you.  Since I’ve had the opportunity to live abroad and speak a foreign language, I believe Americans must work harder to become tolerant of diversity.  When I travel several thousand miles in Europe, I hear different languages, taste different foods, see different clothes, and customs.  Here, that same number of miles brings identical malls, franchised foods, and maybe a little accent in our common language.

Peak performers stretch their minds by getting a grip with as many people as they can.  They strategically grasp the hands of others that can shorten their learning curve.  Remember we are moving from the technology age to the information age and you can’t expect to know it all.  You can balance your life by relying on the knowledge of others.

Your success in life will depend upon how well you recognize, understand, and connect the differences in your people puzzle.

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author and rated in the top 8% in the profession.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business. She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance. Her articles are published everywhere. For more information view www.sheryl.com or call 727.729.4937.

SOAR In Your Zone

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Good Morning Sleepy Head!  No?  You’ve been up before dawn, had your coffee and already got 3 hours into your day?  Good for you!  For the rest of us…we too need to find our “zone”.

All of us have zones of energy, creativity, sleepiness.  Does it make sense to work creatively in your sleepiness zone?  Of course not…yet we will schedule appointments and take on projects when we are disconnected from our own energy.  So take a week and make a note in your calendar of the times you feel E for energized, S for sleepy and C for creativity.  Then schedule your appointments around your own zone.

When you’re working in your zone, you never look at a clock for the time…it just flies by.  Personally, my creativity often comes while driving.  To get the most out of that time, I bought a tiny MP3 recorder that allows me to store 14 folders with over 8 hours of creative thoughts.  It’s so much better than the old tape recorder that you had to fast forward and rewind to find what you were looking for.  And this MP3 player allows me to download that file onto my computer and then convert that to text.  Wow!

I’ve also found that when I’m in the mood to write…that’s what I do.  I don’t stop to take phone calls or check my email.  I write while it flows and when the tap is dry…I move on to other things.

I’m NOT a morning person so why would I schedule important business meetings around breakfast?  I wouldn’t.  There are always exceptions.  If the client IS a morning person and requires that time of meeting to be in his or her zone, then I comply.  But I know my energy will be off so I make sure I mentally prepare before that meeting and I follow up with an energized phone call later when I’m in MY zone.

I have a friend who works best in the middle of the night.  She has small children and takes care of them in the day time.  She cooks dinner and “switch hits” with hubby allowing him to play and bathe the kids and tuck them in.  This allows her to get into her zone and work.  After the kids are down for the night and she tucks her hubby in, she gets up and works until 3 in the morning.  It works for HER.  She thrives on that schedule.  It wouldn’t probably be out of anyone else’s zone.  But who cares?  Where in the rulebook of life does it say you have to work 8-5?  It doesn’t.

So find your zone and soar within it!

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business.  She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies.

Turbulent Times Makes New Talented People

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

 

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

As a Professional Speaker, when I first step on the stage, I’m seeing a lot of “deer in headlights” looks from my audience attendees.  There’s a lot of stress out there.  Everyone’s worried about lost incomes, and/or lost retirement funds.  Then there’s the question of who’s going to pick up the kids, pay for the doctor bills, help with elderly parents and still find time to take an evening class to further your own career?

Stop…take a breath.  Here are 3 tips to get refocused.

1.  List the things you know how to do TODAY that you didn’t know how to do just 2

short years ago.

What counts?  EVERYTHING!  It shows growth.  So a new recipe, rollerblading, taking a computer course, learning about finances yourself, becoming an involved parent, surfing, needlepoint…everything counts!

Life is full of choices each and everyday.  Some days we are forced to make a choice by circumstances beyond our control.  But if we rise to the occasion and can learn from that experience (even if it was a bad experience) then there is GROWTH!  And growth is advancement!

2.  Write down your Worst Case Scenario.

Then create a plan in the event that your worst-case scenario did happen.  You don’t have to put the plan into action…the goal is to feel prepared and then release that fear because you ARE prepared.

Statistically, there’s been a lot of research around worry.  Over 90% of the time our “worst-case scenario” doesn’t happen.  And yet look how much time we’ve wasted worrying about the “what ifs” in life.

3.  Find and Be a Cheerleader.

Who in your life or on your campus begins the day with a whistle or a song?  Find that person and learn from their joyous attitude.  People don’t want to be around tired and negative people and it’s pretty impossible to sing or whistle when you’re tired or negative.  That’s why kids are loved — it’s their joy of life.

And when you’re having a good day, find someone who needs your positive energy.  The ebb and tide of life will guarantee that there will be times when you will be upbeat and times you will be quiet and thought-filled.  When you can’t get an enthusiastic beat going, remember we are often cheerleaders of everyone else in our lives, make time to be your own!

 

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:  CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980s and also has a private coaching business.  She is known as a People Productivity Expert focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies.

 

The IDDMs of Procrastination

By Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

I know, I know…I should start an exercise program, I should fix that hole in the screen, I should take the car in for an oil change.  Am I the only one that procrastinates?  I don’t think so.  It’s a topic that comes up often in my seminars.  With some research and discussions with psychologists I was actually able to develop an easy formula to explain why we procrastinate and then tips to stop.  Great right.

So I call these my items of procrastination and we’ll use an acronym of IDDM.  Ready?

I = It’s gotta be perfect.  People often come and tell me they’re going to write a book.  When I ask how far they’ve gotten, they look like deer in headlights.  They haven’t even started…because they’re waiting for everything to be perfect.  If you are an avid reader, like myself, then you know — there isn’t a perfect book out there.  Every book I read has misspelled words, or a page number missing, a page printed upside down, etc.

Solution:  So what’s the cure?  That old saying…”Doing something is better than doing nothing at all.”  Get out of that paralysis and take a baby step.  You’ll find you can take another and another!

D = Don’t tell me!  Isn’t it interesting that some people can ask you to do something and it sounds like a request — while out of the mouth of someone else — we hear it as a command!  I’ve found people don’t like to be told what to do from 2 to 62.  How do you change a command to a request?  Change your ears…and words.  That is what I love about the power of language.  Here I’ll show you.  Fill in the blank I should ______.   Now say it three times…feeling guilty?  Feeling obligated?

Solution:  Now change the word “should” to “choose” and read the sentence three times.  Feel more empowered?  So that’s the solution.  When you procrastinate on something because you feel you heard it as a command, simply change the word and make it your choice.

D = Dessert first!  I often procrastinate of things because they’re no fun.  I like dessert not liver!  And returning phone calls to me runs in the “liver” category!  I understand fully why I don’t like it…being a time management expert — I know that if I call you and you’re working on something and I interrupt — it will take you 22 minutes to refocus at that level after my call.  Emailing is my preferred form of communicating because you pick it up at your convenience.  But I found I was getting a bad reputation for NOT returning phone calls and they began adding up.

Solution:  Do the thing you’re procrastinating on in bite size pieces then reward yourself.  So now I take 10 phone calls and return them…it only takes a few minutes — because all I get is voicemail.  I’ve put the ball back in their court and then I go give myself a treat…it may be a cup of coffe, a walk around the office, a short dance to my favorite music…but it is OFF my list.  Yeah!

M = Maybe it’ll go away.  No it won’t!  That thing you’re procrastinating on is like a big fat ugly toad sitting on your desk.  You work around it all day, hoping if you ignore it, someone else will pick it up and deal with it…whty won’t!  And you’re getting a reputation for being an ostrich…burying your head and ignoring the situation.  That ugly toad will be sitting on your desk and on your things to do list tomorrow.  So how do you handle this type of procrastination?

Solution:  Eat a toad first thing every morning!  You know the rest of the day is gonna be better after that!  That’s right — the thing you don’t want to do — just DO it!  You will feel accomplished and energized the rest of the day.  Promise!

©2008 Sheryl Nicholson

About Sheryl Nicholson, CSP:   CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker, Trainer and Author, and rated in the top 6% in the profession.  She is considered a people productivity expert and her articles are published everywhere.  For more information view www.sheryl.com or call 727-729-4937.

What Doesn’t Show Up On A Resume That Will Get You the Job

By CSP Sheryl Nicholson

January 2009

Sheryl Nicholson, CSP

Congratulations you’re now on the adventure of your life.  And today you have so many more choices than your grandparents could have ever dreamed of.  Know that according to research statistics, you will hold 5 different careers in your lifetime…so this job you’re now looking for will probably be your first stepping stone.  And it’s important that you step not lightly, but solidly!

You’ve taken a class on getting past the interview.  You’ve bought your new suit to look the part, maybe even decided on a new hairstyle and made a professional opinion about wearing glasses or contacts.  You’ve invested both money and time in your education and believe you have a great chance with such a well-prepared resume.

Today’s employer is learning how to read between the lines and with a personal interview now’s your chance to leap from the paper and show them that you’re the best candidate for their job.

As a People Productivity Expert ™ I’ve asked several employers why they will take college graduates over non-college graduates and they stated simply “It proves they can finish something they start.”  I then asked what two things that don’t show up on a resume will get someone hired and move them up the corporate ladder. Want to know the answer most often given?

     1.   Risk Taking Skills

It’s not your daddy’s job anymore.  In your daddy’s days, you could show your credentials and get the job you were “most qualified for” and then work there to build stability and retirement…for years!  The workplace has changed significantly now.  Everything in the workplace is changing: software, equipment, employees, job descriptions, mission statements, product…and so employers are looking for people who are risk takers and can adapt to change quickly.

A proven risk taker is adventuresome – but not someone who takes a flying leap and then looks back to see if he/she prepared a parachute.  Risktakers are constant learners.  They are fascinated with life and the opportunities it offers.  Risktakers tend to be positive attitude thinkers. Risktakers tend to be leaders and are often looked up to by their team members.

Companies want people who are comfortable with analyzing and preparing for risk and who show leadership skills to get others on board.  So what have you done throughout your life to show your risk taking skills?

Give Examples – Maybe you lived and studied abroad.  Maybe you take “unusual studies” outside your field of expertise so that you’re testing yourself for growth in other areas.  Maybe you took a risk by being a leader for a new fund raising project and built a team for success.  Have you invented something?  Have you done research on a particular area that could show promise to change things? Maybe you took a risk and along the way mentored someone to be a risktaker in their life that has given them higher confidence and success.

Risktaking examples should be on the tip of your tongue and if you aren’t asked about that talent – make sure you add it into your interview.  How do you do that?  You could simply state:  “Are risktaking skills valued in your organization?  I’d like you to know that it’s a quality I possess.  I enjoy helping an organization advance while being flexible in the process.”

2.  Presentation Skills

Can you speak with confidence to audiences of 2 or 200?  It’s often quoted that the fear of public speaking is listed above the fear of dying in the Book of Fears.  So when you tackle that fear, you get recognition and respect from all. Taking a public speaking class in college is a start but it’s only the beginning.  Have you taken a Dale Carnegie class and are you involved in your local Toastmaster meetings to further your talent?

When an employer knows you possess that envied skill – you get the opportunity to demonstrate your talent at employee meetings, conferences, and even to vendors.

It’s all about knowledge of material, speaking with confidence, and being authentic (leave the ego behind).

Again think of past examples you can offer in your interview.  Did you lead a debate class?  Are you a spokesperson for a non-profit organization that you helped? Do you lead a Bible study?  Have you been on stage as an actor in a play?  Do you do karaoke (sober) in front of a crowd?  Have you volunteered in the political arena campaigning for a candidate?  Did you make sales presentations while you were working your way through school?  All that counts!

The worst thing you can do is alert your interviewer that you do not possess these two talents.  If asked – make sure you respond positively with a committed answer like “I’m actually looking for ways to improve that skill.  What books, or groups would you recommend I read or join to get more knowledgeable?”   Then follow-up on that information.  Send a thank you letter reminding them that you’re taking action on the tips they gave you.

I have a saying “if you are unique you have no competition”. So what are you doing uniquely different to help that interviewer remember you from the dozens or hundreds they have been interviewing?  No I don’t mean calling everyday or becoming a stalker.  Yes, always send a thank you for their time and interest with a note that you’re looking forward to being a part of their team.  Then send an unusual postcard once in a while to stay in touch.  Keep an eye on what that organization is doing and let them know it by sending a congratulatory email or basket. Did you know you can get a Google account that will send you press releases about the organization?  This can be a valuable tool with up-to-the minute information that will benefit you in staying current with what’s going on with that industry.

You have the look, you’ve got the tools, and now you have some “insider information” about two skills you can boast you own that can give you that edge when interviewing and just may be the connection to get you that job.  Remember success is always in your hands!

 

About Sheryl Nicholson – CSP Sheryl Nicholson is an International Professional Speaker and Author.  She has been doing training since the 1980’s and also has a private coaching business.   She is known as a People Productivity Expert™ focusing on skill development in sales, leadership, time management, goals, communication, and life balance.  As a private coach she focuses on Successful Presentation Strategies,  For more information go to www.sheryl.com